Do you ever let things annoy you? I know I do. I'm not proud of that, but all along I let people and things get under my skin.
Since I am keenly aware of this tendency in me, I am working very hard to deal with people and circumstances in a better way. Although, it's not the only thing that I let get next to me, I am easily annoyed when I am inconvenienced on the road. It's not full-blown "road rage"; it's road irritation.
Yesterday morning I was in no particular hurry. I was on my way to a business appointment, but I had left early and I had plenty of time. I was in the left lane of a four-lane highway when I approached a slow-moving car ahead of me. I had waited a few seconds too late to change lanes so I was stuck in the left lane behind this motorist. And inevitably when someone is driving ten to fifteen miles-per-hour under the speed limit, they do other things to further irritate me. In this case the driver slowed as he approached green lights. Regardless of a driver's speed, it is perfectly normal and advisable to slow for caution lights and stop at red lights, but this driver driving slowly to begin with was slowing for green lights! For the record, none of them ever turned red, but I was seeing red. I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter. I kept telling myself that I was early for the appointment But some part of me thought that it did matter. A lot! Traffic situations like this create in me a type of highway claustrophobia. Although I was in no hurry and no danger, I felt like I was trapped.
I have been a student of the human brain for many years. I am absolutely fascinated with the power and splendor of our brains. According to Joe Palca and Flora Lichtman in Annoying, the Science of What Bugs Us, annoyances and irritations originate in three specific parts of the brain. The cingulate cortex, hippocampus and the amygdala are the primary centers of annoying feelings. Their research shows that if somehow these centers were not active, even the person behind you in the movie theater slurping their drink during the most touching scene wouldn't bother you at all.
My problem is that I do, in fact, have a cingulate cortex and apparently a very good one. Loud music in restaurants and even louder music in their restroom. Daytime television in a waiting room. Small yappy dogs. Unless I'm willing to have brain surgery, then I can continue to be annoyed or I can find a better way. Just knowing about the specific circuitry and neurotransmitters that control my thinking and feeling, doesn't mean that I know how to manipulate them.
I read a lot. I just finished a book Coming of Age in the Milky Way by Timothy Ferris. Although it was published in 1988, both his descriptions of the macrocosm of the cosmos and the microcosm of quantum physics was very current and useful. I am currently reading Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom by Rick Hanson published in 2009. To my surprise and delight, one of the first chapters could have been written by Timothy Ferris. Hanson writes, "It is sometimes said that the greatest remaining questions are: What caused the Big Bang? What is the grand unified theory that integrates quantum mechanics and general relativity? And what is the relationship between the the mind and the brain?"
Most books I've read regarding retraining the brain quickly become specific meditation techniques. I understand the importance of mindfulness and strive to incorporate its many benefits in my life, but I was looking for a more scientific approach to self "brain washing". I haven't been disappointed. Hanson suggests that these four stages of growth are involved in dealing with irritation. 1. You react and complain without realizing why. 2. You realize you're overreacting, but you do it anyway. You just can't help yourself. 3.You feel irritated, but you know there's a better way to deal with it than frustration and anger. 4. You don't react at all and don't even realize there was a problem.
I've graduated from Stage 1, but I vacillate between Stage 2 and 3 depending on the circumstances. I have more work to do to get to Stage 4. At the end of this chapter the author writes "We've covered a lot of ground and have a lot about the evolutionary origins and neural causes of suffering. Now in the rest of this book let's see how to end it" .
The drivers of northwest Georgia are waiting with bated breath for me to finish reading this book. I'm looking forward to it myself. It annoys me that it has taken me this long to find it.
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