NICU Update--So Happy Together

"I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life."  Happy Together,  The Turtles

In just a few weeks I will be celebrating my first anniversary volunteering in the NICU of a local hospital.  This journey with these newborn babies has been one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. Just this morning I cuddled a little boy while he slept.  The nurses not only don't mind my picking up a sleeping baby from his crib, they encourage it. He woke up only once. He looked up at me, apparently decided he was safe enough, and promptly went back to sleep.  He's the noisiest sleeping baby I've ever cuddled. He amused me  with groans and grunts and sounds like from a squeaky toy.  But the noises didn't bother him and it was all music to me.

There are four main neurotransmitters (hormones) that affect our mood toward joy and happiness. You can  remember them with DOSE--dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins.  All of this brain chemistry is vital for our health and well-being, but I only want to mention one,  Oxytocin is known as "the cuddle hormone,"  Our brain produces this chemical when we're physically close to someone. Oxytocin present in the synapses is the reason we want to be physically close in the first place and then our brain produces more when we're actually touching. Women do not have more oxytocin in their brains than men, but because of estrogen the effect of the oxytocin is much greater in women. Women are genetically predispositioned to cuddle their babies. But I can tell you from personal experience that men have an abundance of oxytocin in our brains as well. At least this one does.

Nature did something else quite extraordinary to encourage us to take care of our young.  This phenomena affects much of the animal kingdom of which humans are but a small part. The world-famous mythologist Joseph Campbell introduced me to the concept of engrams. In  his Masks of God series, Volume 1 he discusses engrams. His conclusions, which were based on the observations and research of others as well as his own, indicate that the shape of an animal's head and face affects the parents' behavior. One  of the reasons you are strongly attracted to a baby is because of the shape of his face. This phenomenon continues through his childhood.  We have a much stronger attraction to a puppy than a dog, a kitten than a cat, a bunny than a rabbit. Engrams not only affect humans but affect animals as well.  A combination of its oxytocin and the engram factor is why an animal nurtures its young. This is why an  animal will risk her life to find her cub and bring it back to safety. It's not just that the animals are like us. We are like them.  We are them.

I'm listening to Hans Zimmer's latest album just released last week on Spotify. It's a compilation  of  twelve songs from his most popular movie soundtracks. As I was writing the last paragraph,  music I recognized but had forgotten began playing.  My heart was strangely warmed so I checked to see what I was listening to. It's "The Land" from The Lion King. Mysteriously appropriate.

You may wonder why I would exchange talking about the wonder and beauty of newborn babies for the wonder of our  brains.  There is only so much I can say about what goes on in the NICU, but I can talk forever about the marvel of our gray matter. "I think therefore I am" makes more and more sense to me.

Did you know that human conception involves one lucky sperm out of approximately 250 million  and normally a single egg?  That's amazing. Have you ever wondered how the sperm knows which way to swim? It's really quite extraordinary.   Get this. All those millions of sperm swim together toward warmth.  Yes warmth.  It all begins with warmth.

Cuddle: "Hold close in one's arms as a way of showing love or affection."

Over a year ago I asked a hospital employee, "Do you think the NICU would let me hold those babies?"  She said, "No, there are all sorts of restrictions on who can go in there. They protect those babies fiercely." And that was that. Then I found out about the Cuddler Program. "This morning I cuddled a little boy while he slept."  Some say "the wonder drug" is penicillin. Others say it's aspirin. I say it's oxytocin. I can't think of anything more wonderful than cuddling a newborn baby while he sleeps. "Me and you and you and me. No matter how they toss the dice it had to be. The only one for me is you and you for me,. So happy together."