What to Do In Case of a Mistake

I don't like making mistakes. Because I'm generally careful and conscientious, I don't make that many mistakes at work(that I know of) or anywhere else. So when I do make a mistake,  I mean a serious goof up, it hits me hard. There's a part of me that wants to believe that I am incapable of making a mistake. For the record, that's not the best part of me.

I made a work-related mistake last March and didn't even know about it until yesterday.  One of about twenty people it affected realized there was a problem and let me know. In checking into what happened I was hoping against hope that somebody else had messed up and not me.  By process of elimination, I eliminated everyone in the equation except me.  I was the one who had goofed. Instead of beating myself up for hours as I am capable of doing, I limited my self-flagellation to just a few minutes. Dr. Suzanne Gelb in Be Well at Work says of mistakes to "allow yourself to feel awful about it", but only for a few minutes.  I then started thinking about how to fix it. Dr. Gelb also advises us to keep it in perspective. So I comforted myself that I'm not an air traffic controller, that no one was going to die from my mistake and I wouldn't be going to jail. But still people were affected with my goof and that doesn't feel good.

In surveying the damage I thought, "There are too many moving parts. This can't be fixed." I thought about it some more and decided, "This can be fixed; I just have to figure out how to do it."  Within a few minutes I came up with a plan.

The first step in the plan was to email the ones affected that I had messed up and that I was sorry for any inconvenience I had created. Most of the people I told weren't aware of the problem until I told them. And I told them that I would do everything in my power to make it right. .

Today I spent about two hours working my plan. A few pieces of the puzzle fell into place; most of it is still a work in progress. It's going to take some time and effort.

So why are we so hard on ourselves in the first place?   Sam Russell in How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Poor Choices and Minor Mistakes says that we have accumulated a lifetime of "suggestions, comments, recommendations and lectures." Then when we mess up we hit this tripwire and it unleashes Pandora's Box. That's why our feelings are often  all out of proportion with the offense.

But as I said, I decided this time to go a different route. In spite of the fact that little of the problem has been resolved, I had a really  good day today.  It was a productive day. My business day ended with  a business social function that was very relaxing and enjoyable,  "I enjoyed myself", as they say. I didn't give my plight another thought.   But now I'm thinking about it and I'm considering what I need to do tomorrow. I can't dedicate the whole day to the project, but I do intend to continue the process.

I don't normally check work email at home, but felt that I needed to in this case.  I noticed an email from one of the persons affected. I opened it, held my breath. and  read: "I am sure that everyone of us has had this moment to deal with. We are human and not perfect. This is a small problem for you and doesn't bother us. Thanks for letting us know."

It's premature for me to say "All's well that ends well" because it hasn't ended.  But I can definitely say "All's well."   And for now, that's enough to know.