Foster Care --"Is this where I'm going to sleep tonight?"

In honor of National Foster Care Month and for the thousands of children who need a home please feel free to share.


"Foster care is a system in which a minor has been placed into a ward, a group home or private home of a state-certified caregiver referred to as a 'foster parent'.  The placement of the child is normally arranged through the government or a social services agency."

We didn't mean to fall madly in love with this little boy.  We got involved to help one family. And we are still mostly involved with that one family.  But a little over a year ago my wife asked her friend, this wonderful foster dad, " We would like to help. What can we do to help?'

At that point we learned of becoming a "respite care provider."  As much as foster parents love their biological children and the foster children in their care, they get tired. They need a break from time to time so we officially signed up to provide that break. The first weekend we "kept" their youngest foster child, just a few weeks old at the time, we were both a little nervous.  Although we had raised a little boy of our own and "kept" his little girl when she was just a few weeks old and a multitude of times over the years, although we were not newbies to babies, we had never taken care of a "ward of the state of Georgia.". There was a heightened sense of responsibility. The "what ifs" in our minds ran rampant. And we only meant to "keep him" and love him as a favor to help our friends and send him back home.

He had other ideas. As they brought him in the door, he looked around and said to himself, " I could like it here. I need somewhere else to go from time to time.  I am going to slay these people with my charm, my cuteness, my affection and my love." Well, he was successful to say the least.

That little foster baby is nearly fifteen months old. And we "keep him" as often as we can. We aren't sure what he gets from us, but he finds a hundred ways a minute to delight us.

Rather than reporting a lot of grim statistics, I am just going to say that the need for foster parents is great. The backlog of babies and children needing placement is enormous. Because of some sort of abuse or neglect, thousands upon thousands of children are removed from their homes and placed into the "foster system" each year. Through no fault of their own many of them, at least temporarily, have nowhere to go. A permanent home would be very nice, but they just need somewhere to stay.

Besides taking care of the children who are placed with them by social services, foster parents provide respite care for each other.  It's not enough that they have their own biological children and multiple foster children, their home for the weekend may include three or four other children who they take in to feed, love and protect. On one such weekend , our foster family accepted a delightful little boy into their care from another foster family. They had already stopped once since the exchange. Now they stopped by our house before they went home.  This delightful little five year old foster boy, looked up at my wife and asked, "Is this where I'm going to sleep tonight?"

Kingdoms rise and fall over the issue of abortion, but you would be surprised by how many people through their actions and their neglect give up their babies and children. Yes, I am coming to understand that these adults need help too. But they are twenty something, or thirty something, or forty something and have resources.  Help is available and they can get help. These children they, at least temporarily give up,  have nothing. A few days ago in the NICU where we volunteer, as I picked up a beautiful one week old baby girl I noticed there was no name above her crib. I asked the nurse,  "What's her name?" And she said, "She doesn't have one."

Thank God for foster parents and foster homes. The social workers many times stay at work late into the night just to find somewhere for their children to sleep that night. A child needs somewhere to sleep. They need someone to love them and to care for them until they can maybe go back home. If going back home is not possible, they need somewhere to belong. They need a home.  I can't speak for all foster parents, but I can speak for these two.  They do not love their biological children one way and their foster children another.  They make no distinction. They love them all the same.  If their house caught on fire, they would walk through fire to get all of them.

When my son was little,  until he was seven or so, on weekends we would often have a "camp in". He and I would build a fort out of chairs and blankets in the den and camp there for the night.  We didn't have a campfire or s'mores, but our flashlight and Calvin and Hobbes books provided a lot of fun. This past weekend when we "kept" our little guy, I decided it was high time for a camp in. I don't know if he enjoyed it as much as I did, but he slept pretty well with me on blankets on the floor.

We're doing something, but we want to do more. We aren't sure what "more" needs to look like since we have our own family scattered across the country and we have our own life, but it needs to look like more than it is. There are babies and children who not only need a home, but they need somewhere to sleep tonight. Camping in may not be what they have in mind, but it sure beats camping out without a tent.

If you want to help but aren't sure what you can do, contact your local Family and Children Services Agency and ask, "How can I help?"  But don't ask if you're not willing to do something. They've been needing to hear from you for a very long time.  And what about protecting your heart?  If you want to protect your heart, you may as well leave it at the door.