Batteries Included

My father had a thing about batteries.  There are some issues of which he intended to mark me for life, but I don't think he meant to mark me for life regarding batteries.  But he did, in fact, mark me for life.

When I was a kid, quite often when I was using a toy or equipment that ran only on batteries, while I was using the device he would say, "You're going to use up the batteries."  On the surface you may think "Well, what's your point?  When you're using the device you really are using the batteries."

But that is exactly my point. I became hyper-aware that although I was enjoying whatever it was I was playing with, the price to pay for playing with it  was "you're going to use up the batteries."

When you look at his admonition logically, it is not logical at all.  Batteries are easy to replace and they aren't all that expensive.  If you "use up the batteries" you simply replace them.  Intellectually I understand that very well. Emotionally, I am still to this day aware of battery depletion in devices.

This unfortunate phenomenon doesn't just apply to batteries, it applies to a number of things.  With my cellphone, for example, until recently our plan had limited minutes and unlimited data.  So whenever I was using the phone I was aware that I was "using up all the minutes." With each conversation I had an internal clock running of how much time it was taking.  In the car when my wife was talking on her phone, it would tie my stomach in knots at her apparent lack of concern. I"m thinking, "Don't you have any idea how many minutes you are using! Don't you know how much this is going to cost if we go over! ?"So did I actually say that? We all choose our battles, right?  Now our plan is unlimited talk and limited data.  So talking is no longer an issue, but anytime I am using Spotify, YouTube, Netflix  and other data hogs, I am conscious of the fact that I am "using up all my data." And God forbid we ever go over one byte.  It's never happened, but I hate to imagine what would happen if we did. I don't know how bad that would be, but I can tell you it would be worse than an overdue book.

But now there is one aspect of my phone that brings me great joy, satisfaction and much peace of mind.  When I put my phone on the charger in the car, it charges while I am using the phone! I'm using it and it's charging ! It is one of the most marvelous feats of technology.   So when I'm enjoying my favorite music on Spotify while I'm driving,  not only am I not depleting the battery, but the battery is actually charging. A double negative I know, but that's exactly the way I feel, "not only" "not".  Sure it's depleting data, but the battery is charging.  A marvelous trade off.

So I have decided to use this glorious feature as a metaphor for my life.  I require a lot of down time. Because of the particular bio-chemistry in my brain and the way it is hard-wired, I do not get my energy from activity, but inactivity. Some would label me as an introvert.  I find many vocational and social situations to be  mentally and emotionally draining. They use up all my battery. Consequently I require, or at least think I require, a lot of down time to recharge. I fill that time with things that I enjoy--reading, writing, walking, listening, meditating, playing music, photography and other activities.  When I say "meditating" I never sit in the lotus position contemplating my navel, I usually just sit in a comfortable position and let my mind drift where it will.  I just breathe. And what I'm learning about mindfulness is that as important it is for me to  find those alone times, it is entirely possible and many times necessary to recharge on the fly.  Instead of seeking out a quiet place in the room, I only need to seek out a quiet place in me.

So that's my retaliation  to my dad.  "Dad, you brought me up to fear the Lord and to fear  battery depletion, I'm finding my peace and contentment in my mindfulness meditation and my cellphone battery.   And Dad, I have a bushel basket of AA batteries."