Cellphone Hookup

No, it's not that kind of hookup.  Your mind's in the gutter !  I'm talking about the kind when you are meeting someone with no particular place to meet or time to meet.  They drive toward you and you drive toward them staying on your phone from time to time. Then you finally find a place to meet.  That's the hookup I'm referring to.

I don't enjoy this kind of rendezvous, but family circumstances and  driving distances between us sometimes makes this method the best option.

For me short of an unfortunate accident, these are the four possible outcomes of such a meeting.  1. Very good. 2. Good. 3. Bad  4. Very bad.  1. Very good is when the rendezvous point involves a nice restaurant where we can all meet, eat and take a break from driving.  2. Good is when we find any rendezvous point, possibly a travel center or fast food.  Bad is when you both overshoot the  hoped for mutual exit and somebody has to backtrack. Very bad is when you lose your cellphone connection about twenty miles from the hookup and have no idea where the other party is. There is no possible way to hook up so you are both in Neverland. So far, after dozens of these hookups, only good and very good have happened.  But it's the possibility of Bad and Very bad that keeps me from totally relaxing on the trip.

When the calls start and math skills are employed, Bad and Very bad come into play. And for me, adrenaline comes into play as well. If you've done this you know how it works. Party A calls Party B to see where they are.  Party B tells Party A the mile marker where they are.  And Party B does the same. Since you're both moving towards the other then you just cut the difference between the markers in half. Assuming about a mile a minute for each party, you estimate the hypothetical exit number where you can meet. If you're both in the same state, dealing with the same mile markers then this is fairly easy.  If you're across state lines then the  time and distance calculation can be tricky.

If  we are 500 miles apart, for example,  that means that each of us will be driving three and a half hours or so to the drop point.  So for a couple of hours Bad and Very bad really don't exist. It's just a drive.  When the calls start it's no longer just a drive, it's an adventure.

As I said in the years of doing this, Bad and Very Bad have not happened.  But my nervous system knows that both have nearly happened and that either could happen. Regarding Bad, as I approach the drop point I try to tell myself, "If the hypothetical exit doesn't exist when our paths cross, then what's the bid deal?   Somebody will just have to take the next exit and turn around." My thinking brain understands this.  My reptilian brain does not. My reptilian brain shouts, "This is BAD!"

Several years ago Very bad almost happened.  With about 40 miles between us, or about 20 minutes of drive time,we lost our cellphone connection. Very BAD!  We were both over three hours from home with no contingency plans in place. We were also in territory that was totally unfamiliar to me. For the next fifteen minutes  my thinking brain and reptilian brain took turns at the wheel (reptilian brain 98%. Thinking brain 2%). My struggling thinking brain kept running scenarios, but my reptilian brain was screaming louder and louder "THIS IS VERY BAD!!" Miraculously with one exit left between us we regained the connection and were both able to take the exit.  Within minutes we were talking and laughing at a McDonalds where we exchanged human cargo and headed toward our respective homes. No Very bad and not even Bad happened (except in my nervous system).

Yesterday exits had been plentiful for about 30 miles, but with 15 miles to go they were quite scarce. If we had failed to hook up, the "next exit" past the "hypothetical exit" would be several miles and very time consuming.This is BAD! As it turned out, an exit appeared out of nowhere. We all talked and laughed, exchanged cargo and were bound for home.

So what's really at play here?  What makes this method actually work out in every situation?  Is it just luck?  Or is the Divine involved?  Hermes was one of the Greek gods of travel.  He was the god of transitions and boundaries. "Travelers sought his protection as they made plan to venture about." Or is it Janus who helps me, the Roman god of travel with  two faces--one facing forward and one facing back? Or Jehovah?  It's not like they had cellphones and a GPS to cross the wilderness. They eventually found the Promised Land.

I don't recommend cellphone hookups.  I advise you, like in the olden days, to have a definite time and place to meet.  But if you want to add a little excitement and adventure to your trip, just head out with your fate residing in the little black box in your hand and your basic arithmetic.   Just have plenty of time, plenty of gas and a god or two in your pocket. And a little Xanax never hurts.