Living in Joy

“Find a place where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.”  Joseph Campbell

Our country is messed up. Our environment is messed up. Our world is messed up. Our emotions are messed up. If we’re waiting until all of this is fixed to feel joy, then we’re going to be waiting for a long time.

When I read the news or hear the news, I am deeply disturbed.  I do not remember a time in my life when I was as concerned about “the world situation”.  I do not remember a time in my life when comments about “the world situation” disturb me so much. The comments I read and hear affect me very deeply. On the other hand, when Auburn plays football, my gut churns until either Auburn is up three touchdowns with five minutes to play or the game is over. If Auburn wins,  I feel good for a while. If Auburn loses, I feel bad the rest of the day (and into the night). During those games nothing much else matters but what happens on the field. I can easily forget everything else.  When the game is over, win or lose, I start thinking again about “the world situation” and again feel bad about that. 

My counselor has recently reminded me that while sitting in my den watching an Auburn game on television, my gut churning doesn’t affect that game at all. The game affects me, but I don’t affect the outcome of the game or even any one play. He has suggested that I find a way to watch and enjoy the game regardless of how it’s playing out.  Cognitively, I understand that. Emotionally, I have not been able to pull that off.  When I’m watching any football game on television and the camera pans the stands, I see fans with their faces in their hands waiting on the outcome of a fourth and one or a field goal.  And I think how silly these people are to feel that the outcome of a play affects their lives in any way.  But with an Auburn game it’s different. It feels like somehow some part of my future is at stake with every play. I know that’s ridiculous. But it’s true.

As I am struggling to get to this place of peace of mind with an Auburn football game, it occurs to me that I’m dealing with the same thing in “the world situation.”  Although “the world situation” is so much more important than any football game, my angst about our country, the environment and the world as a whole does nothing to help that world.  Again, my angst affects me, but it doesn’t affect the world. My counselor suggested a therapy that is helping me with all of this.  He has introduced me to the concept of “emotional resources.” The idea is that we all have limited “emotional resources” and we have to choose how to spend them.  If I am burning up my “emotional resources” with angst about a football game or “the world situation,” then I have no resources left to enjoy my life at any particular moment in time. During that Auburn game, there are so many other things that really matter that I could be enjoying. During that news broadcast, no matter how everything seems to be, I can continue to focus on my own body budget and go about my day free of stress and anxiety. My stress and anxiety affect nothing but me. The world is no better off. 

The trick, as Joseph Campbell suggests, is to find a place of joy. Or as he puts it another way, to find a place of bliss. “Follow your bliss” he often said. To “follow your bliss” you need to know your bliss.  So find your place of joy and learn to live there. Your joy not only “burns out” your own pain, but lessens the pain in the world (since you’re a part of the world).

You may be thinking, “David, why don’t you stop watching Auburn games and do something productive with that time?”  Not on your life. How could Auburn possibly win a game without me?