A Peace Not of This World

“Where is peace to be found? The answer is surprising but it is clear: in weakness. Few people are telling us this truth, but there is peace to be found in our own weakness, in those places of our hearts where we feel most broken, most insecure, most in agony, most afraid. Why there? Because in our weakness our familiar ways of controlling or manipulating our world are being stripped away and we are forced from doing anything much, and relying on our self-sufficiency. Right there where we are most vulnerable, the peace that is not of this world is mysteriously hidden.”
Finding My Way Home: Pathways to Life and the Spirit  Henri J.M. Nouwen

If we are ever to find peace, it will be "peace that is not of this world."  Every year during the holidays we hear or sing, "Let there be peace on earth" hoping against hope that this will be the year. The truth is, there will never be "peace of earth". The only way we could  honestly claim "peace on earth" would be when there is no conflict whatsoever within nations, between nations, within families and between all people everywhere.  Until the end of the world, that is not going to happen. If we're waiting for peace on earth to find peace within, we're going to be waiting for a long time.

So we're back to "peace that is not of this world."  Even  if this is possible, and I think that it is, we will only  enjoy this state from time to time in spurts of awareness.  It is unreasonable to think that we're going to reach Nirvana and stay there in a perpetual state of being.  I can think of a few times that I experienced "peace that is not of this world."  One afternoon in the summer of 1971  I sat against a headstone in a cemetery in Owensboro, Kentucky.  I was taking a break from the rigors of door to door sales.  While I was sitting there this "peace not of this world" found me.  I had never felt so good in my life.  In that moment I had no problems and the problems of the world seemed to vanish.  I remained in this blissful state for nearly an hour until I got up to resume knocking on doors. And to some extent I stayed in that state for the rest of the day.

Another time I experienced this peace was the morning in 1981 my son was born.  My wife had been in labor for more than 30 hours. I was coming off a one week sleep-deprived mission trip with the youth of my church so we were both exhausted.  Obviously, my exhaustion paled in comparison to hers. I don't want to suggest that our fatigue was equal. As he was being  born, even with Lamaze and Gentle Birth training, I was not prepared for what I saw.  As he was emerging from the birth canal, my son was a bluish/purple color and I wondered if he was alive. After he was born and after the token pat on the butt, he started crying.  My tears flowed and my relief was immense. I thought my heart was going to explode. After my wife held our son for a few minutes, the nurse handed him to me.  Holding this newborn baby who carried my name and my DNA was about more than I could comprehend. The room became a holy place. The Bible speaks of "angels unaware"; this room was filled with angels very much aware. The nurses had prepared a warm bath for our baby.  I gently lowered him into the water as he quietly searched my face and blinked with awareness.  Like the experience in Kentucky a few years before, never had I felt as at peace with the world than in those moments.  Later when I started calling people, that peace turned into exuberance as I exclaimed to my family and friends, "I have a son!"

Nouwen says that "peace is to be found...in those places of our heart where we feel most broken, most insecure...most afraid" because we are forced to not rely on our self-sufficiency. I have little idea what he means by that. But in my case, sitting in a cemetery and a few years later standing in a maternity ward, there may be a connection between death and birth. There may be a mystical something in common with both experiences. "The peace that is not of this world is mysteriously hidden."

So were my experiences peace in the world or peace not of this world? They were some of both. Neither were out of the body experiences. I was very much in the body. And yet in both cases I was in the presence of Something not of this world. As much as I would love for there to be peace on earth this Christmas, for now I'll be content to know that absolute peace is possible. "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin in me."