Anxiety--It's for the Byrds

"To everything (turn, turn, turn)
there is a season (turn,turn, turn)
and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Turn, Turn, Turn   The Byrds, 1965.  Based on Ecclesiastes chapter three around 300 BC (but nobody really knows).


I never would  have thought that you could catch "panic" like you can catch a cold. But apparently  you can.  Until a traffic incident in Atlanta, Georgia seventeen years ago, I looked forward to any kind of travel.   Travel by car, by bus, by rail, by air, by foot, it didn't matter, I just liked to travel.  All that changed in an instant.  Only it wasn't an instant. The situation in Atlanta lasted more than two hours and I was in a panicked state for that entire time. I would owe my apologies to thousands who suffer with actual PTSD to say that's my problem, but call it what you want to my nervous system deals with something that involves (T)raumatic and (S)tress.  Then these issues were compounded by  an automobile accident five years ago.  I literally didn't see it coming.

My job this past weekend was to retrieve my nine year old granddaughter from her father in San Diego, California and deliver her safely to her mother in Indianapolis, Indiana.   My granddaughter is no stranger to huge jets and airports as she normally flies as an unaccompanied minor. She's much more brave than I am.  But for a number of reasons, we all decided that for me to fly her home was a good idea.  It was a good idea for everyone but me.  The trip would involve for me five airports and eight flights over five days.  I was looking forward to the time with my granddaughter. I was not looking forward to the trip.  All told the eight flights eventually  included one significant cancellation and two delayed flights.  In spite of it all we managed to make all our connections and I delivered her to her mom only one day late and only a few dollars short.

I saw my counselor of over twenty five years this afternoon.  We've been working together on my travel panic issues for quite some time.  It's been two steps forward and one step back. Well, sometimes two steps back. But I'm much better than I used to be. I told him about the trip and about my incidents of panic. After I related a synopsis of the story, I said, "I give myself a solid C on the whole experience." All things considered I thought giving myself a passing grade was generous.  He looked at me, smiled and said, "I give you an A+". I pressed him with,  "But my panic at times was very real and it was pervasive. I didn't do all that well."    And he leaned forward, made sure I was listening and  said again, "You make an A+".  I asked again, "How can you give me an A?" He smiled and said, "David, you made the trip."

I was twelve years old the first time I heard the Byrds sing "Turn, Turn, Turn".  As an adolescent Southern Baptist, I was familiar with Ecclesiastes three and the passage where the song had originated. It excited me that what I had learned in Sunday School and Vacation Bible School I was hearing on the radio. I could not have known how much the song would continue to mean  to me throughout my life, especially in my older adult years. "Turn, Turn, Turn" has become a touchstone, a mantra.  It's actually the first two words that hold the power "To everything."  M. Scott Peck's runaway bestseller The Road Less Traveled begins with a sentence of three words.  I think it was those three words that made the book so successful.  He begins his book with "Life is difficult."  I've read the book twice and no other words affect as deeply as those do.  "To everything", the Byrds sing.   I learned this weekend that to say "Delta is ready when you are" is not exactly true. "To everything" is absolutely the truth.

All eight flights included a statement from a flight attendant, "Thanks for sharing your journey with us."  When the book of my life is written, there should at least be an asterisk or a footnote beside December 29, 2017 to January 2, 2018.  And that footnote should read, "He made the trip." And if it involves quality time with my granddaughter, sign me up for next weekend. I'm learning that what I feel and what I do are two completely different things. "To everything" the Byrds sang and I repeat "To everything!"  Whereas, it is true that,  "Life is difficult", it is equally true that life is very good. Delta may not be completely ready, but I am !