How to Minimize Stress During the Holidays

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First of all, let's get the "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" controversy out of the way.  There is no controversy.  If you want to only celebrate Christmas, especially on December 24th and 25th, then by all means celebrate Christmas.   Greeting one another with "Merry Christmas" is a time-honored tradition. But it hasn't been around all that long. Although the greeting is probably somewhat older, its use is most often traced to  Charles Dickens in A Christmas Carol in 1843. Christmas as a Christianized secular celebration culminating on December 25th is not much older than that.  You will not find "Merry Christmas" in the Bible. More than likely the Wise Men didn't wish Mary and Joseph "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" at the manger in Bethlehem.  If you want to leave the door open  to observe any number of celebrations, including Christmas, then say "Happy Holidays."  It's perfectly fine to say "Merry Christmas",  as has been said for about 200 years, but if you want to be more inclusive of those who celebrate Diwali, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa and the Winter Solstice during the same holiday season, say "Happy  Holidays."  If  you say "Happy Holidays" you can not only celebrate Christmas any way you like with whomever you like, but be inclusive of those who celebrate other traditions. "Merry Christmas" is a special umbrella over you and those you love. "Happy Holidays" is a festive tent over nearly everyone including you and those you love.  No one is trying to take away your guns or your "Merry Christmas."

But what I really want to talk about is minimizing stress during the holidays.  To minimize stress at anytime you simply lower your expectations.  If you want to experience much stress during the holidays, then go into it with very high expectations.  If you want to lower your stress during the holidays, then lower your expectations. If you  want to absolutely eliminate stress during the holiday season, then have absolutely no expectations. Stress and disappointment are always the flip side of expectations.

You may want to argue that some expectations are a given. You may think that, like it or not, there are some things you must do during the holidays. You may believe that some traditions, if not required, are certainly expected. These habits may be expected by others, but they are not required of you. Everything you do during  the holiday season is a choice.  You say, "Every  year I host the entire family at Thanksgiving.  I cook turkey and dressing and make a pumpkin pie. We all have lunch  together and then the men watch the Dallas Cowboys while the women clean up the kitchen. This is our family tradition and  they all expect it to continue. After all, what would Thanksgiving be without my family gathering? I really don't have any choice in the matter."  First of all, maybe this needs to be the year that the women watch the Dallas Cowboys and the men clean up the kitchen. They may need a little coaching on how to rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher, but they could do it. Better yet, this may be the year that you don't do it at all.  If this is something you really enjoy doing, then knock yourself out.  But if  it's something you agonize about because of the preparation or the inevitable family friction, then just don't do it.  Text everyone that you have made other plans and that the Cracker Barrel has really good turkey and dressing.

Besides reducing expectations to reduce stress, consider this stress-reduction technique as well.  Stop doing things that stress you out. If something gives you grief, just don't do it.  If it's not something that you enjoy, then don't decorate you home. Don't even decorate a tree if it brings you no pleasure. If you get all worked up about all the frenetic demands of purchasing gifts then, don't purchase gifts. Or just purchase gifts for the children and let it go at that. Why choose things over and over that give you grief? Thanksgiving and Christmas will go right on without your active participation. Consider instead active observation and passive participation.

Ready or not, the holidays are here.  Thanksgiving is three weeks away and Christmas is seven weeks away. Christmas decorations are up in the mall and radio stations are already playing Christmas music. Don't fault the retailers for "exploiting Christmas" before Thanksgiving; it's all part of "the holidays". "The holidays" are  here. And that's a good thing.

There's nothing you can  do to move the  Presidential election from the advent of the holidays.But if it's stressing you out, stop reading or watching anything related to it. Less media. Less stress.  And on election night, watch replays of the Dallas Cowboys.