It's All for the Best

"You must never be distressed. You guessed; it's all for the best."  Stephen Schwartz, Godspell

Betsy was not my girlfriend.  I had a girlfriend back home who I cared about and was committed to.  But I had feelings for Betsy and she had feelings for me.

Whenever I listen to Godspell, like I did yesterday afternoon, at least two things happen: 1. I enjoy the music very much and 2. I remember the kindness of Betsy's family toward me.

There are several reasons that my friendship with Betsy never developed into any kind of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship   First, I had a girlfriend. I felt an obligation to not explore other female friendships while I was in New Jersey for the summer of 1973.  Secondly, I was in New Jersey because I was a summer missionary.  I had a directive, a purpose, and it didn't involve opposite sex friendships. My summer missions partner  was a female.  She, like Betsy, was an attractive young lady.  I had no designs on her either.

I spent the summer in church members' homes. I spent the first four weeks in Betsy's parents home in Holmdel. Well it was Betsy's home, too.  They had a really good stereo with a lot of good albums.  One of them was the soundtrack from the  off-Broadway musical Godspell.  I listened to it over and over the four weeks I spent with them. I had never heard music like that before. To make myself useful, I volunteered to mow their well-manicured suburban lawn with their expensive riding lawn mower. I eagerly mowed their yard each of the four weeks I spent with them. It was not a chore. Listening to the steady drone of the engine and making even rows of mowed grass was pleasant and relaxing.I very much enjoyed the time I spent with them that summer. They made me feel at home and welcome. I stayed with two other families, but it's Betsy's home that I remember.

From the beginning you might say that Betsy and I hit it off.  She was a beautiful teenager,  but she had a lot more going for her than that.  Betsy was funny, quirky, entertaining and more. She told me that she didn't like the acting youth director, she had dropped out of the youth group and for me not to expect her to participate in anything all summer. She told me that she wasn't too fond of Bible studies either.  I told her that that was okay with me. But my second week in Eatontown I celebrated my 20th birthday. The youth group threw a surprise party for me in the church's basement coffee house. The only thing I remember about the party is that while they were singing Happy Birthday and  as I was blowing out the candles, Betsy reached out and shoved my face into the cake. I took that action as a gesture of acceptance. That she thought for a missionary I was okay. I guess we salvaged enough of the cake to pass around. If not, I had plenty of it to eat.  And after that Betsy showed up for a lot of the things we did.

For all of the aforementioned reasons, Betsy and I never went on a date that summer.  But one night she invited me to go with her to the Asbury Park boardwalk. So I went.  Get the picture. Here was a twenty year old male with an eighteen year old female alone together on an oceanfront boardwalk.  And what did we do? We walked and laughed and  talked.  When she started her Mustang for us to go home, the radio played the beauteous keyboard introduction to Colour My World by Chicago.  As Betsy sighed quite loudly, the  DJ said, "I can hear the oos and ahhs already". That was forty-three years ago, but that's exactly what he said, "I can hear the oos and ahhs already."

Betsy's father was an engineer at Bell Labs in Holmdel. He invited me for a private tour of the labs. Since I was in New Jersey as a summer missionary and not as a tourist, I did not fully appreciate the experience. I was concerned that I should be doing something ministry related that day instead of walking around a gadget factory. It pains me to consider that I was given a personal tour of one of the most heavily protected facilities of groundbreaking technology in the world and I didn't even care, The only technology I recall is that I talked on a picture phone. In 1973 I watched a TV image of  Betsy's dad while I was talking to him at the other end of the building.  But they said that there was no market for it at the time. Apple's Facetime would wait fifty-seven years.

Many years ago  I called their home and her father answered. I wanted to know about Betsy's whereabouts and how she was doing.  I also wanted to offer a much belated thank you for the tour. It had concerned me that I may not have shown appropriate appreciation for his once-in-a-lifetime experience. He politely let me know that he had retired from Bell Labs and that he was dealing with dementia. He regretfully told me that he  had no memory of me or my time with them in their home.  He told me that Betsy was living in Colorado and was doing well. I thanked him, wished him well and said goodbye.

I've wondered if Colour My World still makes Betsy oo and ahh and maybe brings a memory of  our walk in Asbury Park all those years ago. If  it's true that "The Song Remembers When", then I'm sure that it does. But no matter. I have a wife and a family who I dearly love. And that girlfriend back home? She has a beautiful family as well. We see them from time to time.

My wife is not a big fan of Godspell, but she enjoys  Chicago as much as I do. As for the relationships I loved and lost during the summer of 1973? It was all for the best.
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