Going Steady

I don't know if it speaks to my faithfulness and my commitment or to my insecurities, but I tend to stay with whoever or whatever I like for a very long time.

People talk about their "dating days."  I didn't have any dating days.  During my entire adolescence and young adult life I only went out on three dates. And with  two of them, the girl asked me out. Instead of assuming the risk of "asking a girl out," I tended to run in packs of boys and girls. Usually my church friends.  From those friends and comfortable relationships I would then start hanging out with one girl in particular. And we were "exclusive" until we went our separate ways. We never really "dated." We would hang out together with the pack or I would spend a lot of time with her and her family at her home. I hung out with my last girlfriend over four years. We cared about each other a lot and by then were certainly old enough to talk about "settling down".  But about the time we might have had that conversation, she met the man who would become her husband and I met the girl who would be my wife. It all worked out really well for both of us.

I have been buying all my tires from the same store for over twenty years. I've been doing my banking at the same branch for thirty-six years.  Funny thing about that. The bank has been bought out twice since I opened that first account in 1980, but I still go to the same location. I went to the same doctor for eighteen years but because of an unacceptable office situation, I reluctantly changed doctors.  I've been with this new doctor over ten years and have no plans to change anytime soon. I've been going to the same dentist twenty-four years. Well, actually my current dentist bought the practice of the first dentist when she retired twelve years ago, but I still go to the same place. My counselor has been counseling me for twenty-four years this month. We have many good friends, but one couple has been our friends for over thirty years. We hang with them quite often. We've lived in our house for thirty-one years.  I live in this house with the woman I've been hanging with for forty-two years.

I've not always done this, but I tend to go steady with my music listening. There was a time when I listened to a wide variety of artists and styles --popular, classical, Christian contemporary, 70s, etc, but not so much anymore.  I do listen to a variety of 60s, 70s and Classic Vinyl on Sirius/XM but is that really variety? Spotify allows me to listen to anything I want to hear, but I tend to type the same artist into the search bar and listen to that artist exclusively until I've exhausted their repertoire.  Several years ago I heard the song Shattered by a band  named Trading Yesterday.  The song really did it for me so I listened to it over and over again, like a child watches a Disney movie. As I listened I read.  I learned that the defunct band's writer and  leader was an artist named David Hodges.  So I typed David Hodges into the search bar. Spotify  opened a world of new music to me.  For about eight months, except when I was in my car,  I listened to nothing else.

Years ago a friend hooked me up with two Tori Amos CDs. Since her music had never make  it to the radio, I had never heard of her.  It was love at first sight. But I quickly moved on to my favorite music (whatever I was listening to).  About twenty years later, through the miracle of Spotify, listening to all of her music became possible. Tori's music quickly replaced Hodges and my love affair with all things Tori Amos began, I not only listened to the music I had loved way back when on those CDs, but listened to everything  she had recorded through the years. And that's a lot of music! Spotify was my primary source, but I listened to  performances recorded live and to entire concerts on YouTube. This music blitz lasted well over a year.

I'm now going steady with Marc Cohn. My CD player gives me some of his music, and Spotify gives me the rest, Since he has not recorded as much as the others, I'll probably move on in the near future. This will not be a long-term relationship.

I usually listen to music while I'm writing.  Which of these artists am I listening to now?  None of them. I'm listening to Mark McKenzie.  A Pandora station introduced him to me several years ago. It's excellent music for writing because it's all soothing instrumental movie soundtracks. No  complex lyrics to distract me. I enjoyed his music so much back in the day, I sent an email  to tell him.  He responded with a nice note of appreciation. I sent Tori Amos an  email also and got a response from her manager that more or less said "You've got to be kidding."

Life is good. Life is so very good.  That girl I "dated" four years?   Although we're both several hundred miles from where we were when we were together, she lives with her husband and family about twenty-five miles from where I sit.  My wife and I have enjoyed dinner with them many times over the years. When her youngest son was a kid, I would take him to the movies, Recently her husband helped my wife with a very important business decision. It helped her more than we can say. It's that kind of mutual love and friendship.

Although it works for me, I'm not necessarily recommending going steady for you. There are so many wonderful people to meet and there is so much incredibly good music to hear. Date them all. Listen to it all,. Boys, step up to the plate, put your life on the line and make that call. Ask her out. Or if you can't work up the courage to do that,  just ask her to ride with you from Birmingham to Jasper, Alabama since you're both going that direction anyway.  You just never know what might happen.