Thank God for the Fleas

During the coronavirus I am amazed at the number of people, especially "evangelicals", who believe that God is punishing us. I estimate that fully 50%, maybe more, of evangelicals believe that with Covid 19 God is sending us a message, a warning. The reasons that I see most often for God's wrath are homosexuality and abortion. In other words, the basic personality of God is anger and judgement. It seems to me that the assumption here is that God actually enjoys raining fire and brimstone down on his people. I see this reaction in storms as well. The assumption is that God is actually personally involved in who is and is not killed or affected by the storm. Furthermore, Christians comment on the "miracle" that happens when the family at 101 Pine Street is spared, but then the family at 106 Pine Street are all killed. If God spared one family, doesn't it stand to reason that God destroyed the other one? Can we assign the "miracle" from God to one circumstance and absolve Him of blame in the other? 

In our local paper there is a Sunday page called Faith and Family. In today's paper there is a commentary by Dr. William F. Holland, Jr. that speaks to this dichotomy.Instead of suggesting that God is punishing us with Covid 19 he says this, "God wants you to know that He loves you very much. He knows your thoughts and what you are going through, and He understands everything". He goes on to say, "Remember, no matter what there is no need to fear for Jesus will always be with you." Isn't this a better opinion of God's involvement with the virus instead of punishment? 

In her autobiography, The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom talks about the lice and fleas in the beds of their barracks. Instead of seeing it as a plague or warning from God, Corrie's sister Betsie realized that because of the fleas, the guards left them alone and never entered their sleeping quarters. Instead of God's wrath they chose to see God's deliverance because of the torment. They both learned to thank God for the fleas. If you find hope and comfort in the wrath of God, then knock yourself out!  For me, I believe that God knows our suffering and actually enters it with us. "Be still and know that I am God." And that's a good thing.

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Nothing really.

For 15 years, every few days I got something on my mind that I wanted to write about. I sat down, booted up Word and started typing. The blinking cursor faithfully moved to the right creating the letters and words that I dictated. When I was satisfied with what I had written, I posted the words on Blogspot and from there to Facebook.  In the last six months or so I really haven’t had much to say. It’s not that I’ve given up or am doing nothing at all  to talk about, I just didn’t want to bother to write. The irony is that with the isolation of Covid 19, I have had more time on my hands than I’ve had since I was a kid. And even as a kid, I was busy doing something that I wanted to do. But now on the days I’m home alone, instead of writing I’m usually either reading or watching something on Prime or Netflix.

This morning I got up at about 8:30. I took a shower, got dressed and ready to “face the day.” Today I actually had things I needed to do. I’ve had some issues with my legs, so my morning started with a physical therapist. This was my seventh visit and we’re making some progress. On my way home I decided to  call the Nissan dealership to see if they could do that oil change and tune up my car has been telling me about for several weeks. They told me to come on.  I knew the dealership was taking precautions for Covid and that it would be a relatively safe place to be. As it turned out I was up close and personal with only two people and, like me, one of them was wearing a mask. I’m not very concerned that I was exposed to anything. I washed my hands several times. Since I didn’t have an appointment, I had to wait about two hours. I passed the time talking on my phone with my good friend Mark and texting with several other friends. The wait went by fairly quickly. I paid the cashier, got in my car and drove back home.

When I got home, since I had not eaten any breakfast, I warmed up the pizza from yesterday and ate a couple of slices. After eating I decided to do something  else that I haven’t done in a while. I went downstairs, retrieved my camera, attached my favorite lens, my macro lens,  and went outside. I walked up the street to the cul de sac where I knew there were some pretty flowers. I took several images and walked back home. As I processed my images with Lightroom, I didn’t like most of it, but I thought three of the images were worth working with. I got the images to my satisfaction and posted them on Facebook hoping that my “friends” would  enjoy them too.

Now I’m sitting at my computer typing these words. I’ve reread them several times and am not happy with them at all. My sentences are short and my subject matter seems rather boring. But I haven’t posted anything in quite some time so for better or for worse I’m going to post this. In 1971, the summer I sold books door to door, in sales school they taught us several things to do to  boost our confidence for the day. One of them was to look in a mirror and say several times, “I feel healthy! I feel happy!! I feel terrific!!!” These words helped me back then and they are helping me now. I hope that you are healthy, happy and terrific as well.  If not “terrific” I hope that you are at least healthy and happy.

The Gym Sans Cellphone

Like yours, my smartphone is so much more than  a telephone. It’s where I check Facebook, Instagram,  my email, the weather, and the stock market. If I’m not listening to the radio, Spotify provides the rest of my music. Its GPS is indispensable. It’s where I read the national news.  When I travel by air, I use the app to track my flight (is it on time? Which gate and is it still at the same gate? Estimated time of departure). And I'm just getting started.  If that is not enough uses for this little black box, what about Google? Once years ago I started a sentence with “I wonder…” and my 20 something son said, “Dad, you have a smartphone. You don’t have to wonder about anything.”  But when I leave it at home, like I did a couple of hours ago, of all of its uses,  it became just a telephone.

If you’re older than 65, like me, you remember when  a cellphone was just a telephone. The phone itself was as big as a brick and weighed about as much too. Service was spotty at best. If I was in a city or close to an interstate, I had pretty good service. Other than that, not so much. So today I got everything together to go to the gym. Car keys, wallet, lock, headphones. I’m ready to go. At the gym as I was putting everything in the locker, I realized that I didn’t have my smartphone. Only in this case, its absence was just a phone. I began to run all sorts of awful scenarios in my mind. “What if my wife needs me and can’t find me? She doesn’t even know I’m at the gym.” “What if anybody else needs me and can’t find me?” “What if I have a flat tire on the way home?” “Or my car breaks down? Do people still actually  stop to help someone who’s stranded?”  “Or what if  I have an accident?” ”What if I get in a traffic jam?”  “What if…?”  “What if…?”  “What if…?”

“Ok” I said to myself. “Probably none of these things is going to happen. And if it does happen, I probably will eventually find my way home and not die of starvation or exposure. My wife can probably survive without me for an hour or so”. I also found comfort in the fact that I was, after all,  less than five miles from home.

As it turned out, the gym music was fairly sedate and I got along just fine without Spotify. On the way home, I didn’t have a flat tire; I didn’t break down. I didn’t have an accident; I didn’t get in a traffic jam. It took me less than 15 minutes to get home. Nothing bad happened and I had no need for a telephone. When I got home, I immediately found my smartphone and checked for missed calls and texts, and there were none. Nobody had looked for me or missed me. It's all good.

So what have I learned from all this? Absolutely nothing. The next time I'm away from home without my smartphone, it will be as bad or worse. 

More Than Friends

“A friend loveth at all times.” Proverbs 17:17 KJV

“And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship. And he answered, saying: Your friend is your needs answered…For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace..And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared.” From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Over the years I have heard it said, just like I heard a few days ago, “He wants us to be ‘more than friends’ ".  Can you be “more than friends”? I don’t think so.

For some reason people think that adding a sexual relationship to a friendship will deepen the relationship and that now they will become “more than friends”. Think about it. Sexual relationships can sometimes deepen a relationship, but it always makes the relationship more complicated. And let’s say that trouble arises in this relationship, to whom do the parties go to talk about it? One or both of them call on a friend. As Gibran so poetically said,” For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared.” p. 64 The Prophet. And why do we seek out our friends in times of distress in the other relationship, especially one that is physical in nature? We seek them out because we know that we will be heard and accepted with no judgement, with no strings attached. Can we say as much about the sexual relationship that has gone south?

So incorporate sex into your relationship if you choose to, but don’t expect to  become “more than friends”. In my opinion this reality even applies to marital relationships. The marriage began as a friendship, but now it’s just a social and legal contract. To dissolve this union can be a legal,  relational and financial nightmare. And while you’re trying to work things out or dissolve the contract, who do you seek out to talk to? You find your best friend. And how many marriages dissolve when that couple has remained best friends? Not very many. Maybe none. I know people who have had multiple partners and spouses over the years, but still have the same best friend. So what relationship is better, the one that became “more than friends” or just your garden variety “best friend”? Your best friend has seen you through all of it. And will see you through the next breakup, as well. 

Tomorrow I’m going to spend a couple of days with someone who has been my friend for over 35 years. He and I have been through much alone and together. He has told me numerous times over the years, “Please call me anytime you need to talk and I’ll be here for you.” And I know he means it. I’m sure it’s possible for our friendship to deepen in the coming months and years, but I can’t imagine any way that we can become “more than friends”.  Why would we want to?

If you are in a relationship that is in trouble and has moved on from friendship, consider trying to rekindle the friendship before you dissolve the relationship. How many times have you heard someone say who has been divorced, “And now we’re better friends than ever”?  Couldn’t you have somehow found that friendship before the divorce and salvaged that relationship? Why do you have to survive relational hell before becoming friends? And if you can find a way to become friends again after a nasty breakup, doesn’t it stand to reason that you could have found that friendship before it got so bad?

So all this to say, the next time your friend seeks you out to say, “And we are considering becoming ‘more than friends’, listen thoughtfully and respectively and then say, “ Go to bed if you choose to, but never try to be ‘more than friends’. But I’ll still be here for you if you need me.” Then you’ll laugh and talk about other things that matter to both of you. That’s what friends do.

Home

“For outlandish creatures like us, on our way to a heart, a brain, and courage, Bethlehem is not the end of our journey but only the beginning–not home but the place through which we must pass if ever we are to reach home at last.”

―Frederick Buechner, The Magnificent Defeat

My wife and I are compatible in every way possible. We share the same political convictions and religious convictions; we love the same football team, the Auburn Tigers. We share the same grief when Auburn loses--like they did yesterday. We enjoy the same food and restaurants. For the most part we have the same friends. Considering that we are, indeed, “the opposite sex”, it’s quite amazing how alike we are. But of all the things we have in common, the most significant thing is how both of us prefer being at home. Of all the places on earth, the place we like the most is in Ringgold, Georgia on Timber Ridge Trail.

I wrote this blog post several days ago. In my opinion it was one of my best. However, Blogspot, from time to time does something very strange. As I’m writing, all of a sudden all that I have written simply disappears. Even though I’ve “saved” it, the words just vanish into cyberspace. Because of this, I usually write to a Word document, save the document and copy and paste it to Blogspot. This works very well. The only thing, sometimes I decide to take my chances by writing on Blogspot. In this case, it was a bad gamble. Those words are gone.

This particular post called “Home” I thought was particularly personal and particularly good. So good that except for what I wrote above, I’m not going to try to write it again. Well, like the Capital One credit card commercial, “One more thing…” What did Buechner mean when he wrote that we must pass through “Bethlehem” if we are ever to reach home? I don’t know; you’d have to ask Frederick Buechner. But what it means to me is that we were all born somewhere and it’s important to never forget where we were born, how and where we were raised and how grateful we need to be to the person who birthed us and the people who kept us alive until we gained survival skills on our own. I think too that he is suggesting that in spite of the fact that Mary and Joseph had no good reason to be in Bethlehem, because of what happened there, now 2000 years later it is one of the most visited and revered of all cities on earth. Maybe 2000 years from now people will visit your city because of you?

What you are reading here was born as a Word document. It then was copied and pasted here. And here, for better or for worse, is where these words will grow up and live. 

The Reason for the Season(IMHO)

On Lakeview Drive in the Rossville/Ft. Oglethorpe area of Georgia, this morning I drove past a Baptist church that I drive by quite often. Their sign read, “Is Jesus the reason for the season?”  This sign set me off (as most church signs do).

Even if Jesus is the most important person in the world to you, and Christmas is your most important holiday, and thinking about Jesus is the most important aspect of Christmas, it is impossible for “Jesus” to be the only reason for the season. The “holiday” season seems to start a week or so before Thanksgiving. Families make plans to travel or to stay at home and entertain family and friends. They do many things to celebrate Thanksgiving together. It seems to be okay to say “Happy Holidays” before and during Thanksgiving.  After Thanksgiving, though, there’s a change. The people who believe saying “Merry Christmas” is the only authentic way to celebrate CHRISTmas appear in droves. The “Keep Christ in Christmas” and “Jesus is the reason for the season” directives are displayed all over the place. It is no longer appropriate to say “Happy Holidays.” That phrase dishonors “Christ in Christmas”—the reason for the season.

For me it seems that “Happy Holidays” is inclusive and “Merry Christmas”, especially with the emphasis put on it by the “evangelicals, is exclusive. There are many “holiday” traditions that are celebrated around December 25^th other than Christmas. “Happy Holidays” is a way to honor and include these traditions during the “Christmas” season. "Merry Christmas" is included in "Happy Holidays".Some "holiday" traditions are sacred; others are secular. The “evangelicals” cry “foul”, though, that these people have no business embracing “Christmas” and that Christians have every right to insist that “Merry Christmas” is the only authentic way to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

But as I said, even if the birth of Jesus is the only reason December 25^th exists for you, then you still have serious problems with the adage that Jesus is the ONLY reason for the season. Try celebrating just Jesus without the trappings of Christmas. During Christmas you enjoy or endure family gatherings. During Christmas you enjoy, or at least participate, in the exchange of gifts. These gifts are wrapped in beautiful paper and adorned with string and bows. During Christmas you decorate your home, inside and out, with bright colors, trees, special ornaments and lighting and many other things. Some of these ornaments evoke love and joy for special people who gave them to you. And let’s not forget Santa Claus and now The Elf on the Shelf during this celebration. Santa arrives in his sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer and this elf moves around the house through the days leading up to the 25^th,  bringing surprises and playing tricks, and then on Christmas Eve disappears to return to the North Pole or wherever you tell your children he goes. All of this, even if you claim that “Jesus in the Reason for the Season”, is a part of the celebration.

Finally, even if you do none of these things—no family gatherings, no exchange of gifts, no holiday foods, no carols or candle light services, no Santa and elves,  no trips to Grandma’s house and only gather your family around the fire on Christmas Eve to read the Biblical narrative, especially Luke chapter 2, then Jesus is not the only reason for the season. In these old stories you’ll find, not only the baby in a manger of straw, but angels, shepherds, wise men,  Mary and Joseph, the natal star and others in the cast of places and characters that are a vital part of the story. If Jesus had just appeared in that manger with nothing or no one around Him, as a human being He would have died of exposure and starvation.

So celebrate “Jesus” during the season. Exclude, if you will, all other people and traditions besides what happens for you on December 24^th and 25^th, try your best to evoke a feeling of guilt in those who do other things besides “Jesus” during the holidays. But try as you will, you cannot escape the trappings that make Christmas “Christmas” for millions of people. And, please, at least say, “Jesus is my reason for the season” so as not to suggest that He is the only reason for all of us. 

A Very Short Speech

Do you have memories of events that took place even 49 years ago, and you still feel embarrassed about them? I had that happen yesterday.  Yesterday I was in Elba, Alabama and drove by the First Baptist Church of Elba. The memory was as raw and as clear as the night it  happened.

In 1970, at age 17, I was in the front end of a horrible time in my life. After reading the book, In His Steps, I decided, like the main character in the book, to ask before everything I did, “What would Jesus do?” or what is now known as WWJD. On the surface this seems like a good idea. It seems like it would help any Christian to discern the will of God and act on that discernment. My problem at the time, which was a huge problem as problems go, was that I took that suggestion literally. Before EVERYTHING that I did, I asked myself “What would Jesus do?” and based my actions on that answer.

During this time I also interpreted the Bible as literally as possible. I read specific Bible verses and tried to believe and act accordingly. In this case, the verse I read was "When they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not worry about how or what you are to speak in your defense, or what you are to say”. Luke 12:11 In the first place, no one was putting me up against any rulers or authorities; I was asked to speak at a Valentine’s banquet for the youth group at the First Baptist Church of Elba, Alabama. In the second place, it is not logical to think that God would have a problem for me to prepare for that speech.  But I took that verse to mean that I was not to prepare and should trust God in the moment with what to say.  

The night came for the banquet. I dressed up for the occasion and drove the 25 miles from Enterprise to Elba. It was a typical Baptist banquet with a nice meal that was probably roast beef, green beans, mashed potatoes and a roll with some sort of cake for dessert. There were about 25 young people in that room all dressed up and looking forward to a nice talk. The meal was enjoyed by all, the youth director introduced me and I walked to the podium to speak praying all the way for the words to deliver. All eyes and ears were turned to me.  Here is the entire speech.

“On Valentine’s Day we talk about love. There are many types of love that we have for each other. There’s the love of parents for their children, children for their parents, the love of husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. But the greatest love of all is the love that God has for us.” That’s it. That was the speech. Since God gave me nothing else to say, I sat down. I wanted to melt into my chair. 

A couple of years ago, my brother ran into the guy who was the youth director at that time. They discussed the banquet and the speech, and shared a nice belly laugh at my expense. Since that fateful night 49 years ago, I have never failed to prepare for a speech. When I give any sort of speech, I talk from, not an outline, but a manuscript. I deliver it without reading it, but every word is in front of me.

It took about five years and an experience with a puppy and some turnip greens for me to begin to emerge from this black hole I had created for myself. Can you imagine how difficult it was for God to get through to someone who put Him first in all his thoughts, but in a very perverted way? And yet He did. The next time you find yourself in Elba, Alabama, drive by the First Baptist Church, think about that banquet and enjoy a good laugh. You’ll feel better and I will too.