The Miracle of Semi-OK

 "The truth is that--through the workings of love, science, community, time, and what I dare to call grace--some elemental shift will occur and we will find we are semi-OK. And even semi-OK can be a miracle."  Anne Lamott 

For the past several days it has seeped into my consciousness that I seldom feel OK. But according to Abraham Maslow I’m doing just fine. Referring to his Hierarchy of Needs pyramid most of my “basic needs”, which are at the base of the pyramid, are met. I enjoy plenty of food, clothing and shelter, and I live in relative safety. I was reminded of that in the aftermath of hurricane Laura where so many hundreds of people are left with nothing. Many who have insurance will soon learn that insurance won’t cover flooding, even if it was wind that destroyed their home. And so many of those had already rifled through their savings because of the loss of jobs and income. These people had little or nothing even before the hurricane. Now “nothing” has reached a new low showing them all the things they had less than 48 hours ago. Where I live, we expect some wind and rain from the remnants of the storm, but not enough to be a threat.  But are any of us completely “safe” living in the time of Covid-19? My wife and I shelter-in-place for the most part and do not take unnecessary risks, but thousands of people who are careful are infected every day. The most I can be on any given day related to safety is semi-OK.

The next level of the pyramid is “psychological needs”. I could write a book about that level but as I said, I’m now, in the era of Covid,  already not OK long before I get there. And I seldom if ever accomplish his last level on the apex of the pyramid at “self-actualization.” If this last level, at the apex of the pyramid, is where I am supposed to be, then I have little chance of ever being OK.  Semi-OK is the best that I can hope for.

However,  as Anne Lamott has said, being “semi-OK” can be a miracle. It’s a miracle that I am even alive. About eight years ago I was driving on I-75 south about 15 miles from here at the speed limit of 70mph, when I was rear-ended by a car going fast enough to total my car. I live with whiplash issues till this day. If his car had struck my car on either side of my bumper instead of straight on, I would be dealing with a lot more than whiplash. Well, I would be enjoying my “reward”, while my wife would still be dealing with my death. But I am alive and well and that’s a miracle.  I live in a miracle of plenty to eat and drink. I do not ever have to concern myself with starvation or even hunger. My stomach may growl from time to time, but food and drink is never far away. Even today, my wife is out and is going to bring home Panera Bread for me to eat. I’m feeling a little hungry, but the sensation is far from “hunger.” In an hour or so, I won’t be hungry at all.

I live in the miracle of relative safety. Except for the possibility of getting the coronavirus, I have few concerns about my safety. Regarding safety, I am always semi-OK. I live in the miracle of being relatively pain free. I am nine weeks post op from neck surgery. I experience some discomfort, but I am no longer in pain. During the three weeks that the pain was excruciating, the pain was all I could think of. That’s as far up the pyramid as I ever obtained, but now I can concern myself with other things. Regarding pain, I am semi-OK.

I could continue to list other potential issues, even at the level of “basic needs”, but I think that I have stated enough to make my point. Right now, trying to write something meaningful,  I am well into the category of “psychological needs”. I am no longer concerning myself with my "basic needs". What I’m trying to say is that even if ALL of my “basic needs” were met, I would be concerning myself with other things and would not be OK. If you, on any given day, feel that you are not OK, then consider that you are semi-OK. And considering all the things that are not to your liking, being semi-OK can be enough. .  

 

The Man Without A Country

 The Man Without a Country is a short story by Edward Everett Hale, published  in 1863. The story is about a young Army Lieutenant Philip Nolan. Nolan was on trial for treason. During the trial  he angrily shouted, "I wish I may never hear of the United States again!"  Upon his conviction, the judge grants his wish. He was sentenced to spend the rest of his life aboard navy ships. He was not only exiled from America, but he could never disembark at any port of any country. Furthermore, he was never to be told anything about the United States of America. He was, in fact, a man without a country.

This is the way I feel about a significant part of my education. Sandwiched between earning a Bachelor of Music Education and a Bachelor of Business Administration, I earned a Master of Church Music at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. This degree was my most proud musical and academic accomplishment. In the months leading up to my entering "Southern", a former student warned me, "No matter what you think you're going to do there, you are there to earn a master's degree and they don't give them away." No truer words were ever spoken. For two years I worked my butt off completing my course work and the activities demanded of me as a church musician. In June of 1979, I graduated with a Master of Church Music. Maybe to you this seems like only a degree to prepare me to become a minister of music at a Baptist church. Well, it was that, but it was so much more.  You can subtract "church" from the degree and you're left with Master of Music, and that's what it was. I earned a Master of Music from what was then one of the most prestigious schools of music in the country.

That was then and this  is now. Religious fundamentalists took over the Southern Baptist Convention during the 1980s and with it took over the major institutions of the convention. The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary was one of the first to fall. What was at the time a world-renowned school of theology and music, is now only a shadow of its former self. Under the leadership of the Southern Baptist Convention and its board and  its president, over the years "Southern"  has become nothing more than a Calvinistic Bible College. Attendance has fallen significantly and there has not even been a school of music  there for nearly a decade. 

So all of this leaves me with a difficult choice. When preparing a resume or stating my education, I am so proud of that degree. But I'm concerned that when you see that affiliation, you think I graduated from "Southern" as it is now and not as it was when I graduated from there. I mean, how are you to know? So I never mention it. It's  like it never happened. 

Nearing his death, Lieutenant Philip Nolan showed one the sailors his room. It was a virtual shrine to the United States. He told the sailor, "America is your  home; you need to love America as your mother". He smiles and says, "Here, you see, I have a country."

Philip Nolan had a country because the United States still existed; it had always existed. In the case of my seminary and my degree, it is dead to me. Unless you were a classmate of mine and know of the blood, sweat and tears that went into that degree, you'll never hear from me that I graduated from there, except right now with these explanations. But like I said, in 2009 at the age of 56, I walked the stage to receive my Bachelor of Business Administration in Management from Dalton State College in Dalton, Georgia. I graduated Cum Laude. That's an accomplishment that I will brag about till my dying day.  I'm not out an education, I'm just out a master's degree.